Even though in the first few days, the host family will tend to prepare special meals, take you to tourist sites, and pamper you, it’s not possible to maintain this behavior throughout the entire year. It would become burdensome for you and would be considered unfair by the other children in the family.
It’s true that hosting a foreign student is a wonderful, unforgettable experience that contributes to promoting peace and better understanding between peoples. However, it’s also important to know that the experience is full of challenges. After all, you’ll be hosting a teenager! And in addition to all the changes and self-questioning that normally accompany this stage of life, the young person will be thrust into a new environment and forced to adapt to a different way of life and thinking.
What do we ask of our host families?
Sharing the lifestyle
Students choose to spend a year in Canada to learn about and experience the culture and way of life. Families must therefore be available to share their values and perspectives on a daily basis. The student will not always agree with your perceptions or ideas! Don’t be offended, but rather take this opportunity to learn about cultural differences yourself.
Providing shelter and food in a safe environment
The host family must provide safe and healthy accommodation, as well as daily meals. However, it should not simply act as a hostel: the hosted participant must feel that they are part of the family, with the same rights and responsibilities as other children of the same age and sex in the family.
Support and advise
In addition to providing food and lodging, the host family becomes the participant’s first point of reference and:
– Provides guidance and reasonable availability;
– Communicates house rules to the young person;
– Helps the young person learn the language by always speaking to them in French;
– Supports the student’s integration into school and the community and establishes a meaningful and harmonious relationship with them;
– Collaborates with AFS to ensure compliance with its norms and standards, including facilitating monthly contact with the AFS advisor;
– Participates in mandatory AFS activities (arrival orientation, fall, mid-year, and end-of-year).
Financial responsibilities
The host family is financially responsible for:
– Room and board
– The many little things that enrich family life (birthday parties, special meals, souvenirs, etc.)
– Family outings (walks, trips, vacations, shows): meals, travel and leisure expenses within reasonable limits (in the case of trips involving significant expenses, the student may be asked to contribute financially)
– Lunches at school (the family can pay for the meal or ask the student to bring one, depending on family custom). AFS Interculture Canada only reimburses mandatory school registration fees, the cost of textbooks not reimbursed by the school at the end of the year, and mandatory school transportation (one round trip per day). It is important to keep all receipts for the expenses listed above, as we cannot process reimbursement without the original proof of payment.
– Room and board
– The many little things that enrich family life (birthday parties, special meals, souvenirs, etc.)
– Family outings (walks, trips, vacations, shows): meals, travel and leisure expenses within reasonable limits (in the case of trips involving significant expenses, the student may be asked to contribute financially)
– Lunches at school (the family can pay for the meal or ask the student to bring one, depending on family custom). AFS Interculture Canada only reimburses mandatory school registration fees, the cost of textbooks not reimbursed by the school at the end of the year, and mandatory school transportation (one round trip per day). It is important to keep all receipts for the expenses listed above, as we cannot process reimbursement without the original proof of payment.
Responsibilities and role of the AFS student
This is the responsibility given to students in their “Welcome to Canada” guide::
Your responsibility:
“Through international exchanges, the AFS network aims to foster greater understanding between peoples and thus contribute to world peace.” This is the goal of AFS. This should be one of your main motivations this year. Your year of immersion in another country and culture is not only an enriching experience for you, but also an important contribution to understanding between peoples. So, don’t forget this great challenge in which every AFS student participates!
More specifically, an AFS participant must:
– Attend school regularly;
– Strive to integrate;
– Respect the instructions and rules of your host family, and AFS rules;
– Make an effort to learn the language of the host community;
– Communicate with your host family;
– Maintain monthly contact with your counselor;
– Inform AFS at any time of your host family’s absences (travel);
– Refrain from participating in sports or risky activities without the approval of AFS and your biological parents;
– Always have your AFS insurance card available.
What is the role of the participant?
AFS places its participants with host families because, firstly, the family is the primary vehicle for cultural exchange and allows for maximum learning of the language, customs, and values of a people; and secondly, because the family can provide support and guidance to the student who suddenly finds themselves without their usual points of reference in a new environment.
But what role should the student play in their host family? Since it is often their first time experiencing this, AFS participants don’t know what role they should play and therefore assume a familiar one.
Here are some examples of roles that the student should not assume:
The student is not a guest of honor
The student is not a friend of the neighborhood
Just as it can be tedious for the host family to treat the student like a guest, it can also be stressful for the student to feel they must always be the most obedient and polite visitor so as not to offend their hosts. Although exchange students are less likely to contradict their host parents than their biological parents, they cannot be expected to maintain perfect decorum throughout the entire year.
The student is not a customer who has paid for a hotel room.
Some students feel that the fees they paid to participate in an international exchange only cover room and board, and since they see themselves as paying customers, they don’t believe it’s necessary to actively participate in family life. This attitude goes against AFS’s primary mission: to foster exchanges between people, especially since the host family is a volunteer and covers the student’s accommodation costs for an entire year.
The student is not an employee
Il est normal qu’on demande au participant AFS de faire sa part des tâches ménagères et de s’occuper des enfants de temps à autre, au même titre que les autres membres de la famille. Cependant, il ne faut pas que l’élève sente qu’il doit travailler plus que les autres pour justifier sa présence.
So, is the student a member of the family?
Yes, the young person you host should become a full-fledged member of the family, sharing your joys and sorrows, respecting the rules, and participating in daily tasks. Like your own children, the student will learn with you and will want to tell you about themselves, their activities at school, their friends, and also about their country and culture. AFS encourages participants to express their needs, wishes, fears, doubts, and even dissatisfactions to their host family, and to express their gratitude.
Don’t forget that… The student you will be welcoming is also a teenager!
Even if he’s doing his best to adapt and has only good intentions, he’ll surely make mistakes and sometimes act in ways you don’t understand.
Uprooted from his familiar environment, he’ll no longer have his usual points of reference and sources of affection. Your child will feel less socially and intellectually competent, which could make him more emotionally unstable. This is normal. The goal of such an exchange experience is to learn and grow. If he already knew how to behave in every situation, there would be no learning. So, be patient, especially during the first few months!
Just because something has been repeated once or twice doesn’t mean the student has fully understood or assimilated the information. Remember that he has to learn both a new language and a new culture. So, if the student doesn’t seem to be following the instructions you’ve given them, sit down with them and establish a clear framework, asking them from time to time to rephrase what you’ve said to make sure they’ve understood. You might be surprised to see how they interpreted information that seemed so obvious to you!
Participant’s financial responsibilities
Students are financially responsible for:
- Clothing
- Cosmetics and personal effects
- Leisure and sports;
- Travel without the host family
- Non-refundable school supplies (school supplies (pens, notebooks, calculators, dictionaries, binders, locks, etc.), books (reimbursed at the end of the year), uniforms, sports equipment, art supplies and musical instruments, transportation to dinner at home, identity card (if not mandatory)
- Extracurricular and optional activities
- End-of-year photographs and expenses related to the graduation ball.
Pocket money
The AFS student can open an account with a local financial institution. They are responsible for managing their budget; host parents can occasionally help them, discreetly.
Part-time work
AFS students cannot work in France; their visa does not permit it. However, they can accept certain paid jobs: babysitting, newspaper delivery, lawn mowing, snow removal, etc. Students cannot hold jobs that normally require a social security number.
Winter clothing
For some, winter clothing will no longer be needed after their stay. In this case, host parents could lend them some (family friends might be willing to offer some for the duration of the stay).
Open a bank account
It is sometimes easier for a student to open a Canadian bank account rather than dealing with a bank in their home country. They probably won’t know how to open an account in Canada. Help them find out more or go to the bank with them to make sure everything is in order.
Bank cards
Sometimes, bank cards from foreign institutions don’t work at all banks or ATMs in Canada. Make sure your student knows where they can go to withdraw money if needed.
Sensitive social situations;
High-risk activities;
Parental authorization – The responsibility can sometimes seem heavy when it comes to participating in activities involving certain risks (hunting, mountaineering, hang gliding, skydiving, long-distance carpooling, scuba diving, bungee jumping, competitive sports, running other than on foot, private jet flying, etc.); written authorization from one’s biological parents may be required. A specific form is required; it must be requested from the AFS office.
Invitations to a party or other activity
We suggest that students find out as much as possible about the activity, including where it will take place and who will be there. Foster parents have the authority (acting in place of the biological parents) to refuse permission for students to attend an activity, even if others are going. If a student feels their parents are being unreasonable, they can ask them to speak with the parents of the other students attending, or they can try to find information that will alleviate the foster parents’ concerns.
Drugs and alcohol abuse
Drugs – AFS students may encounter situations where other young people are drinking alcohol or using drugs. If an AFS student uses drugs while in Canada, they will be sent home immediately.
Alcohol Consumption – Every family has different habits, and AFS will try to respect each family’s values as long as it does not put the student in a situation where their health and safety are at risk. Alcohol abuse may be penalized and may even lead to return to the student’s home country if it results in a breach of family rules or rules imposed by the local committee. A minor caught in a bar or public place drinking alcohol may be arrested by the police and face legal consequences.
Driving Under the Influence – Even if students do not use drugs or drink alcohol, they may find themselves at a party where others are doing so and feel uncomfortable. Even if a young person decides to stay at the party, they may realize that the person who is supposed to drive them home has been drinking and therefore shouldn’t be driving. Students should discuss these issues with their parents before going to parties or other social events:
How should you react if other young people pressure you to drink or take drugs?
If you find a party unpleasant and want to leave earlier than planned but don’t want to seem prudish, what can you do? What excuses could you give?
If you wanted to leave the party early, would your parents be willing to pick you up? Can you take public transportation? Can you call a taxi?
Sexual behavior of the participant
Often, it may be necessary to clarify attitudes. The values and beliefs that students bring with them are equally important. Students should not compromise their own values and beliefs.
Canadian students may have preconceived notions about students from other cultures—”all girls from country X wear revealing clothes” or “boys from country Y are always hitting on girls.” Host parents should be prepared to discuss these prejudices with their child and offer guidance when their dress or behavior is provocative and/or ambiguous.
For example, while almost all Canadian girls wear bras, many European women do not. Tight-fitting clothes or revealing swimsuits may be appropriate in some communities but not in yours. Wearing heavy makeup can mean different things to different people. Because “rules” and “practices” differ from one community to another, it is important to make students aware of the messages they might be communicating through their behavior.
Harassment – Students may not be sure whether someone is sexually harassing them or whether the person’s behavior is considered normal, or simply friendly. Host parents should discuss this openly with their child, without judgment, or ensure that there is someone at school or in the community with whom the student can talk about their concerns. We informed participants that if they have any doubts or feel uncomfortable, they can contact their counselor and/or an AFS staff member directly and that their comments will be treated with respect and confidentiality.
Bank cards
Sometimes, bank cards from foreign institutions don’t work at all banks or ATMs in Canada. Make sure your student knows where they can go to withdraw money if needed.
Communication with the biological family
Communication between the young person and their birth family or friends – It is strongly recommended to limit contact (phone, email, chat) with members of the young person’s cultural background to once a week. If host parents feel that the frequency of calls or emails is excessive or disruptive to the student, they should discuss it with the student and then with the counselor if necessary to establish a reasonable frequency.
Communication between host family and birth family – Host parents can occasionally correspond with the birth family (with their student acting as a translator!): not to ask for advice, but to talk about their child and show interest in their birth family. This small gesture reassures them and is generally appreciated.
Difficulties and family change
If a significant difficulty persists at school or at home, the student and family should contact their advisor to help clarify the situation and re-establish good communication. If, despite their intervention, the difficulty persists, the advisor will then discuss with them the possibility of a change of host family; it is the advisor (and not the student) who finalizes the decision with a representative of the local committee and informs the AFS office. Unless there are contraindications, the student is placed by the local committee in the same community and remains in the same school, if possible. It is important to know that finding a new host family can take several weeks.
Explanation: A change of host family is a last resort and should not be undertaken without a very compelling reason or without requiring mutual effort to adapt. The intercultural experience should not, however, become an endurance test for the young person and their family. Sometimes, the individuals involved have different expectations and needs that the short duration of the experience cannot fully meet; therefore, it is not a failure. The counselor should, in fact, help the student and their host family overcome any feelings of failure or guilt and help them adapt to the new situation. It is even possible that after a change of family, the relationship between the student and their first host family can become friendly.